where the wild things are.
3.20.18
Being here at school, I’ve noticed getting into these lulls of…just being comfortable, going through the motions, waking up and thinking to myself “oh, it’s been another week and I did the same stuff.” That’s what I hate. I never want my life to be like that.
You asked me this question once: Where do you feel most like yourself? And I’ve been thinking about that a lot. I feel like it’s in situations where I’m a little uncomfortable. Where I’m not just going through the motions. I’m out of my comfort zone and have to force myself to… to better myself, essentially. It’s kind of why I like the acute care setting: it gets my heart rate up, the pressure’s on, I’m uncomfortable. Like being in the ICU, seeing a patient first day post-ECMO, post-CABG…that gets me. Hyped. Up.
I have this vivid, weird image that is always in my head now that captures this feeling. I took this roadtrip last summer from St. Louis to Seattle. Naturally, we got lost. We were driving through the mountains, no GPS, no cell service, middle-of-nowhere. Anna was sleeping, and it was just me driving the car as it was getting dark. And I was completely lost. On this highway going through the mountains. I was a little anxious, like “ohhh sh—“ But, I always think back to that feeling now, and it makes me so happy. Being lost…it just kind of makes me want to keep pushing and overcome my fears.
I think the next trip I take, I’m just going to show up in a place. With my backpack on. Three weeks ahead of me. No plans.
…maybe I’ll have the first Airbnb booked. And it’ll have wifi. But that’s it.
Colleen Benish
Class of 2019