listen.
4.11.19
Open-mindedness to me is about delaying judgment. I think so much of the time, when people are listening to others talk…they aren’t listening. For example, someone might say something you don’t agree with, and immediately the alarm bells go off in your head. In mindfulness, we talk about having momentary pauses. To just stop, suspend an immediate reaction—and choose to truly listen. Even if you know your position on something, listen. You might find the other person has a really good reason for their position.
For example, a friend was recently staying over while passing through St. Louis. In many ways, she is different from me; professionally very “blue collar” and politically very conservative. She just has a totally different background than my own. We were discussing how Colorado is deciding to focus on renewable energy and reduce their oil industry. And to me that’s just an obvious yes. But for her, it’s an obvious no. But her reasoning was: “it just breaks my heart to think about all those families that are now out of work. If they had a job-retraining program, I might support it.” And for me, that made such a difference even though I’m really clear on this issue. To hear where she was coming from.
It’s a place I really respect: having compassion for families. It represents her blue-collar background. I had this thought—there’s a chance her family went through something similar. And how can I not respect that? Wouldn’t I feel the same way if I came from that background?
Being open-minded is not about being flimsy or a people-pleaser. It’s about appreciating people and where they come from.
Elaina Stover
Class of 2019